I'm sitting at the gyno watching cnn in the waiting room
Everyone is walking funny when they come out, ugh I'm not looking forward to this
i feel like after you turn 30 you aren't supposed to black out anymore
he peed everywhere. it's like having a puppy.
We went into lab today and when no one was looking i touched our cadaver's penis!
Correct me if I'm wrong, but I did not stop moving last night. If tequila gives me that extra push to have an active lifestyle, so be it.
I hope, cuz I was gunna get "celebritory drunk" but now I have to get "I'm disappointed drunk"
These eggs taste like chocolate chip cookies. This is the best hangover ever.
On a side note the mornings you do so much Xanax that you wake up totally at one with the universe and feel invincible are great
If I'm not drunk and wearing a penguin hat by the time we are done opening Christmas presents then coming home for Christmas was a complete failure
So I should just walk in, look him in the eye and say, "I just came to fuck your brother, nice to meet you" and just walk to your room.
STOP IT RIGHT NOW IM BEING A SINLESS CHILD OF GOD IN BED TRYING TO SLEEP AND YOURE SENDING ME MEMES ABOUT DICKS
It was only a blow job in his car. It's the same as giving a friend a back rub.
PANTIES FOUND
I have to touch the horse lube. :-(
Clearly the Stanley Cup Finals good luck hand job IS necessary. You let the whole team down.
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