the beds are so narrow its like a jenga threesome
She was sucking his dick at Seacrets outside bar in front of all of us...her friends kept coming over crying and yelling "Tiffany stop it"
I miss you. Just wanted to say that before the drugs kicked in so it's legit.
People kept wishing me happy birthday last night. apparently i was 21st birthday drunk
If you're going to watch porn, can you atleast be considerate and watch it on my old laptop and not the new one?
Honestly dude, i think you should ignore the restraining order if you really love her.
Don't say that out loud. People might think I really like to pee on you.
Of course you don't like it. I am the one who likes it.
You told me you aren't worried about the police that you've been training for this an that the last three months of your life have been devoted to building up your stun gun tolerance and pepper spray recovery time.
I peed in my sheets during a dream. Like straight up. A whole new drunk.
That's what my new years consisted of. Consoling heartbroken girls and having people throw up in my hands.
you walked onto the street in the middle of the 10K in your thong. it was a whole new kind of expirience.
We might as well just set our livers out to sea on burning ships
He told me he needed "space" but then goes and likes my insta of panacakes.. Done.
Oh, in response to your "does dating get better" question...I feel like penises are getting smaller nowadays. Its been several years since I saw a good 8+ incher.
Drunk sex on a hardwood floor is never ever a good idea. Lesson learned.
Randomize
