i wish we had vans that drove around at night but insteand of ice cream and jolly tunes its taco bell and the macarena
i decided i am going on the Justin Bobby plan for success. Don't cut my hair for a year, don't shave for a month, land Audrina Patridge. Game on.
You realize it's finals week?
Ya that's the school's fault. St. Patrick's day came first.
Do you know any thirteen year old jewish kids? I'm looking for a party.
we were sitting in the bathtub when she came in with her grandpas cane adn beat us until lindsay passed out
my roommates tied me up with rope and duct tape then left me outside the door to the hot girls' suite on my floor, knocked on the door and ran away leaving me there with a sign that says free
There was just a girl standing next to me on the train, wasted, wearing only one shoe. I so wanted to pat her on the shoulder and say "oh honey, we've all been there"
I did not get laid last night bc my condoms were too small. I'm allowed to be dreary
I really don't think there's anything more liberating than farting.in a loud bar where no one.can.hear you
Apparently I'm a "fire hazard"
The twitch Bob Ross stream is the happiest little hangover cure ever.
I think I've done enough damage with my vagina as of late, thank you
My potted cactus died. I am literally less nurturing than the desert.
They gave my sperm a pep talk after they found out we were trying.to have.a baby.
would you eat cereal with weed in it
who is this???
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