I should be nowhere even remotely near facebook in this condition.
You kept yelling that her vagina looked like a hatchet wound.
he let me wear his jacket and there was a magnum and a bowl in his pocket ... I think im in love
We had sex after spending two hours in the drunk tank. It was really deep and meaningful
At least they aren't charging us for the broken diving board...
You destroyed the landscape if my vagina FOREVER.
My phone saved "first signs of pregnancy" as a most visited search.
I successfully convinced a drunk NDSU student that their school does not have a football team and another that they weren't in Fargo. I'm a dangerous sober shark in a sea of drunks.
So guess who got away with telling their girlfriend she's insane multiple times in a Valentine's day card. Yup, this guy.
My penis needs a shock collar
who is the naked dude on the coffee table
thats jeff, jeff is nice so don't be rude
He couldn't give me an orgasm, but he did give me a UTI.
It's obvious you're hotter. You've been doing a married guy for almost 2 years.
Taking a shot every time the Russian in COD says vodka... BEST drinking game ever.
how goes living off caffiene and alcohol?
i may have recently shit my pants. on two separate occasions.
Randomize
