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this should be fun to decipher. I'd like to buy a vowel.
please hurry. your mom just evil laughed to herself in the kitchen like she's plotting my death.
I love how understanding people are when they hear we first hooked up getting high and watching nature shows
After Sake bombs he tried to puke into an alluminum beer bottle and shot vomit streaks in a perfect V out the sides of his mouth and hit BOTH girls he had bought drinks for that night. He was like an Icon of Cock-blocking yourself.
This better be legit desert and not your penis alamode
Dude she's on meds. He has a ginormous penis. Ur A dumbass. That concludes our feelings chat. Dim Sumday?
Dude you went around coming up behind people and whispering in their ears. I dont know what you said but they looked terrified when you left.
It doesn't matter how many beers you've had, it's unacceptable to piss in someone's helmet after a playoff win.
You christened everyone with a powdered doughnut and then tried to absorb vodka with your nipple.
Nothing like waking up naked and alone on your floor to remind you that you make life mistakes often.
My dad just bought me a 40. I consider this our peace treaty.
Next Halloween I want us to dress up as jockeys, get drunk, and ride a carousel all night until we throw up or declare a winner
My now ex hook up buddy realized I was hooking up with others when she saw my spotify sex playlist making appearances on fb. fml
Chugging this bottle of Jim at the airport is proving more difficult than I imagined. TSA is not amused.
Sex in a tree, bucket list CHECK!
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