my door was closed and her door was closed but even over the r.kelly playing at full blast i was able to hear her say "THAT'S NOT THE RIGHT HOLE!". Def rethinking my roommate situation.
he said i took off my shirt and wrote "help HATI" on my tits, and charged people to motorboat me..... i'd like to say i woke up with 267$ in my purse
"I could never have "feelings" for someone who, at one point, wanted to "hate fuck" my face."
just shottied a beer can with a pumpkin carver. i love October.
The liquor store wont accept checks from us anymore.
Remember when I booked a hotel room for next sat? Nneither do I.
He's the kind of drunk guy that would pee in your mouth while you give him head.
googling pictures of Lindsey Lohan so that I know what to wear to court is definitely a low point in my life
i warned you not to do dabs 20 minutes before graduation. You never listen
It's okay, big boobs are better than running.
Not saying I'm a lesbian. Just saying that every time she walks by I wanna scissor her
He pretended his dick was a samurai sword and that he was slaying me with it is it bad I still wanted him to fuck me
I sent him a tex saying, "I thought my intentions were clear" drunk me has some balls.
I'm soaking her vibrators in tabasco and wasabi paste. "furious" is an understatement
The magnum condom fits. I feel like a manly version of cinderella
Randomize
