Hands down the best time I've ever had barfing.
nothing says "we're all in this together" like the herpes she passed around to our entire group of friends
Just bought a handle of vodka with the excuse of "just in case we drink tonight"
she could've warned me his penis was curved
ya i dont think she expected you to get with her boyfriend.
You are going to be so proud of me, I'm wearing underwear AND tights. That's two layers more than usual between my vagina and the world.
He wasn't eating out, he was performing a hysterectomy without a license....should I be worried about my future family?
Trust me. I don't get home before 5am. I know what Immmm doing. BTW bail money is in my closet. PEACE
I can never go back to Jacksonville. We think I may have punched a child in the face while on acid...
First highlight of the semester: campus safety caught me peeing in the dirt parking lot by kappa. Then as they were about to write me up, they recognized me, laughed, and left.
Just got a message from a drag queen on okcupid. I cant even catfish successfully.
Sex in the moonbounce later?
This is why I love you.
I'll take care of you. Just let me pee on this old white person's car first.
I'm sorry I lead life with my vagina.
I HAVENT HAD A NICE A NICE DICK SINCE FEBRUARY!! I WANNA KEEP THIS ONE!!!
I'm with jana at walgreens picking out penis rings.... Did you know they sell vibrators at walgreens? Wtf?
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