I bet they all look and smell like Amy Winehouse
The size of her hoop earrings are directly related to how much of a slut she is.
there is a school bus full of santas parked in front of the liquor store
You know what is really helpful - when the two guys you want to fuck stand next to each other. Stay tuned for who wins
no, no, no. omg. i said i wanted a SANDWICH! not a picture of your dick. damn cant you read? SANDWICH! now im blinded. great job.
you are getting stockholm syndrome from your pubes
Miller High Life will be the death of me. Well, that and shower sex.
His penis will pick the quickest route to vagina. it's like an biological onstar.
I know. I need to get a vagina tranquilizer.
He did a 4 wheel burnout and yelled at the cops "Sorry! It's for a school project!". HOW does he think of this shit?
Fair enough. Everyone has some guilty pleasures. Yours is yourself
In other news there is a guy at my office who I'm pretty sure will be wearing someone's skin as a coat one day.
I don't want to flatter myself but after the way he was looking at me today I think it might be me.
My sister texted me to say she just found a corn on the cob in her purse from last night. You need to party with us more.
She is dumping me if she doesn't get a ring by Valentines. So one more month of free sex and it will be back to the right hand.
her nickname was handjob. I knew what i was getting into.
Randomize
