i have essays due online every friday...im just going to write 'im hungover' for every one
Please, do not let 'babydaddy' catch on as your petname for me.
high enough to want to lick peanut butter off of Michael Buble's vocal chords as he serenades me.
i think i traded my wallet for a tim hortons gift card.
Eating a popsicle in the shower was the best idea I've had in ages.
its before 9am and ive already had to dip my dick and balls in a glass of milk. probably isnt a good sign for how today is going to go.
Hey, I'm making progress. I haven't thrown up in a bar while wearing a sweater vest in almost two months.
Sexting across continents is really a perfect example of how far technology has come.
Do they still have sex clubs in San Francisco? Because that'd be an interesting way to spend Easter.
If everything else in my life fails, at least I just had one of my top orgasms
I just lost my handcuff virginity and not in the sexy way.
He lit my hand on fire and bought me chicken nuggets. I'm in love.
Uh oh. Put down the vodka cancel the clowns and get rid of the donkey
I've been on the cocaine and semen diet for the last 24 hours, lunch sounds great.
we used a blowdryer last night to warm up our left over pizza..it worked perfectly at first..but then the chili powder got into his eyes..
Randomize
