omg. I had the wrong window open and I accidentaly posted my credit card # on twitter
Whats your twitter name
I just had unprotected sex with a stranger. but i did him wearing nothing but my pearls. so its classy.
I'm afraid that if I tell my sister I think Zachary Quinto is gay I'll have to put her on suicide watch for the next week or so
You thought cars couldnt see you if you stuck your head in the mail box
"Shots" has been nominated for a grammy. Now all of the US has sunken to our level...
We just found a handle of vodka in our fridge and no one knows how it got there. God I love spring break.
Just woke up to the best idea ever. Vodka infused BUTTER. Take a second, and think of the possibilities.
He makes me want to shower. It must be love.
I figure a girl that drinks as much as I do should always have pregnancy tests on hand
my question is who was more confortable? You sleeping on the floor or me tweeting from a bush?
We have such limited time together he literally sends me text messages that are like "I sent my roommates on an impossible quest, we have 15 minutes." it's that bad.
Maybe if I get to know him I'll stop wanting to fuck his wife so much.
All I did was call him a fucker when he took my pot. He didn't have to arrest me.
Took my nervous poop earlier then expected it's gonna be a good day
last night i was way too drunk and i was forcing people to let me tell them about mammals
Randomize
