Facebook really needs to add a bikini picture profile tab for girls, it would really save me countless amounts of time!
seriously i just wanna be friends
pass
Oh I also wanted to thank you for leaving your list of porn sites on the coffee table. Very entertaining.
Sitting here wishing there were men in my life.
me too. too bad ive decided to fill that hole with cookie dough, closing the door to future men one fat cell at a time.
i don't even specifically remember last night, it's just one big wonderful lesbianic blur.
I know you claim to have a large penis but I do not believe in what i cannot see. Sort of like god.
college stoner meal of the day: microwaved nutrigrain bars
I wouldn't have puked last night if I didn't inhale straight pepper from you shattering the pepper shaker on the wall.
Its completely acceptable to go naked under my graduation gown right?
Some ppl might frown upon it but theyre prudes
Stand up sex. Extremely, extremely difficult. I now know how pointe dancers feel.
I am going to go Miley Cyrus crazy if I don't get sex soon
Headline in the alligator: young zeta goes berserk after lack of sex and is found naked swinging from wrecking ball on university ave, refuses to get down until sex partner is found
That guy was drunk and couldn't get it up so he just tried to scissor me.
I just had a 10 minute staring contest with my dog. Can you come over?
somehow getting chased by a bulldozer was NOT on my to-do list for today. just saying
All I want right now is a waffle and some fried chicken and a penis.
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