The only reason I kept his number in my phone for so long is so that hed pay for my abortion.
"Tuesday" and "open-bar" shouldn't be used in the same sentence.
He asked me to grab his balls and yell "thats a spicy meat-a-ball" Last time I do requests.
hey, this is the drunk ass freshman from last night. thanks alot for helping me out last night, i'd probably be on some lawn if it wasn't for you guys! and my mom says thanks for talking to her
It's just like riding a horse. A very tall, gay horse.
Is this a genuine concern or are you just high?
JUST BECAUSE I'M HIGH DOESN'T MEAN ITS NOT GENUINE CONCERN.
I plan on being naked for at least 2/3 of the wedding.
St Patricks day needs to be raged like youve never raged before. Like youre in the desert and it starts raining beer. Like it's the day the announced the 21st amendment (which is the one that ended prohibition)
You never know how much you love your bed until you sleep with 4 other people in your car.
Honestly, this is a first for me. I've always prided myself on my ability to pretend to get along with others.
My hand smells like rave and peanut butter.
My memory of last night is a delicious blur of tits, ass, and alcohol.
We just fucked each other sober. #goteam
IM ON THE WEIRD DRUGS AND I JUST SAW THAT TOM HARDY THING NOW I WANT TO HUMP
It was like a baby arm holding another baby arm holding an apple grove. Fuckin huge!
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