Last night I ate the rest of the salsa with my hands. And i DONT have a hangover? Glorious.
did you fuck him yet?
hahaha who do you think your talking to.. a nun?
i'm sorry, i thought "hey, she wants TO FUCK YOU" was a good enough cue
Oh so it was one of those "I shouldn't have gotten in a cab with a random 21 year old girl" kinda nights.
I think he just gave me the 'I used to sleep with your sister' discount
Ok see being that I'm not present or participating your vague texts "neeeeed that" and "vagina" leave a lot to question.
Anal and Aoki tickets...I'd say I give pretty good Valentines Day gifts.
Do you know how disconcerting it is to hear the sound a dog makes while it drinks water and find out that it's someone eating you out?
Watching frozen planet. There's a beach master sea lion with about 50 sea lion bitches fighting another sea lion for said bitches. It's a bloody battle. Dude. You have over 50. Share.
well... I just junk punched a carnie. Doesnt matter how, it still counts for my bucket list.
He sent me a mirror pic of himself and sent it to me and all i could think about was the amazing bong hits i took with his roommate in that bathroom.
You sternly pointed at him and declared that you would ride his cock until the early dawn.
Then, you ate a turkey sub, went into his room
Sarah's knitting me a hat as an apology for unknowingly making out with my boyfriend
I love it when he cheats on me with nice people
Sensing a theme here
If alcoholism is a theme, yes.
I puked on her cat, I think I should at least buy her breakfast
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