absolutely 100% incorrect. and i love you more you silk skinned goddess
Checked out the free sonogram van on campus and got a free DVD of my sweet food baby.
mary just dropped the yahtzee dice in her wine. and shes throwin em like shes on a craps table.
hahahaha slap the bag.
Her vagina smelled like pancake batter. That's all you need to know.
he was too drunk to climb up my loft. i owe my beating teen pregnancy to four pieces of steel
You're obviously not trying hard enough. GET LAID. Kittens die for less.
Touche salesman.
That's just a really flattering way of saying, "Yes, you're useless, but you have great tits."
We tried to hook you up with a girl but you said you'd rather fuck the large muscular black man because "At least he'd be tight". He was the bouncer, he heard you.
I just want to have beer shits in my own bathroom. Is that too much to ask for?
sweet sixteen by hillary duff just came on and i feel like i let lizzie mcguire down for being such a stoner
I was so high. I had so much hair. It was like all my hair follicles exploded.
Wait are we really having an orgy on Tuesday?
I'm jealous, curious, and aroused. All at the same time.
My job here is done.
I told him I might be pregnant and he said he'd buy me a test and a twix bar. I'm marrying him. Tomorrow.
Let the healthy eats/juice cleanse begin. Today is day 1
Have you cleansed yourself of the boy yet?
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