her vagina looked like a handful of raisins.
The girl behind me in psych just tapped me on my shoulder to tell me there was a condom wrapper in my hood.
He told her hed rather go bobbing for apples in puke than have sex with her.
I couldn't find the bathroom last night...so I wrapped myself in the curtains and stuck my butt out the window and peed from two stories up. Thank god I don't remember.
Chick last night said she only gets off if she rubs her childhood blanket her parents gave her during sex
It's amazing how not interested in talking to him I am since I've decided that he probably has chlamydia.
Post a pic on facebook and see if those same 46 girls find shitting in the bed handsome and adorable
For once I am not in the mood. My vagina is good with life at the moment.
The apocalypse has arrived.
I'm just waiting til he drunkenly pisses in his new man's car the way he always whipped it out and went Bellagio in mine.
I just want every freshman guy to know about Grindr just so I can have more options
It tasted better than Jesus's hair.
Well, I can't remember Thursday and my left ass cheek hurts like hell, I'm guessing Mike's bachelor party was a success.
I just met a drunk old lady with a bedazzled life alert alarm around her neck. I love casinos
Went to my bottom drawer for my stash , gone just a note says thanks sucker love dad
What happened last night? I just woke up and there's like 15 mcflurry cups on the floor
You don't remember stealing them?
Randomize
