He just asked me if I ever had the urge to put a zucchini in my ass.
My Vagina smells like Nemo again.
the red, white, and blue power rangers were all also in the porn buisness, good bye childhood
You taught me that having a dip while u shit is awesome. I appreciate u for that
yup, got lost on my way to the final. maybe i should have gone to this class all semester
I was so scared, I actually heard my grandmother's voice in my head saying if I get pregnant, then my vagina will fall off. And then I'm going to die.
is one penis in the hand worth one better nicer penis in the manscaped bush?
I just wish I had a snapshot of his attempted front flip off the bar. There are some things that are worth getting a life ban for, and the moment of impact with his foot and that lady's face was one of those things.
Oooo yea. You face planted on my bed but only half your body made it so you noodled onto the floor but kept saying prepare to be murdered which is when you started taking your pants off but stopped at your ankles cause it was too hard
There's nothing more awkward than going on a beer run with 3 ten year olds....teacher of the year right here!
I just want to nap and funnel a bottle of wine in a cute dress
You don't know the true meaning of fear until your girlfriend's niece insists on sitting on your lap with 20 mg of Viagra coursing through your veins.
How fast can you get here?\nI need to ride your cock into the sunset.
Good Morning! You are sterile right?
So... my daughter's new girlfriend Is the daughter of the girl I dated on and off in college Who ran away because she got pregnant at my house party. My Legitimate daughter Is probably fucking my Illegitimate daughter...
Randomize
