i'm at a party where swedish girls are dumping laundry detergent on each other because it glows in blacklight. this is awesome
Soo I have a handle of 100 proof captain, cupcakes, and nothing to get up for in the morning.. This blizzard is shaping up to be a great night.
If i'm not hungover, near death, and wondering what i did the night before on Monday, life is not worth living.
dude, she was giving me a lapdance and her thong had a skid mark. no I did not hit it.
judging by the pasta sauce and dirty pans i spent my blackout being emeril
Just saw pictures of a pregnant teen from my hometown with an American flag wrapped around her naked body posted on FB without irony. These are my roots.
You made a course evaluation for your vagina? Wow. You really are a professor now.
Only at Harvard can you walk in on a bunch of stoners and expect everyone to immediately stand up, shake your hand and introduce themselves like we're at a fucking job fair
You will never be paid again to get drunk and tell off cops without being arrested. Once in a lifetime opportunity
You're right. Fuck my job. I'm in.
Oh you know..Chillin with your dad.
With a fannypack full of drugs.
I have work in an hour and I'm having trouble with concepts such as 'staying upright' and 'staying conscious'. Tie me to your wrist next time we go out drinking,
i agree, on both the sex thing and the unrepentant bastard thing
Wedding party came into the bar an hour ago. Mother of the bride is a stage five clinger. send help.
Did you get your nipples pierced? I felt something poking through my shirt earlier and I really didn't want to say anything in front of your grandma...
he asked me for a magic BJ...is that supposed to be different from a normal BJ?
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