Do you think Capital One would let me put the Tub Girl picture on my Capital One card?
Beat you to it.
Its mothers day and I have choke marks around my neck. Thanks for that.
she said my body looked tiny like it was a bad thing and then didn't even mention how great my tits look. it's like we're not even friends.
He poured syrup on all those broken dishes because "syrup is magical, and by the time we wake up, they'll be fixed."
don't think this is any sort of attachment thing but if I'm going to throw up regularly at your house, I'm going to keep a tooth brush there
Lesbian chick is doing her presentation on the time she woke up on the dockside still drunk at 7 am. This is why I show up to chinese class.
I just dont understand why you didnt cut me off when I took the funnel into the bathroom and started peeing and funneling at the same time
this islike a room full of reasons why i should be in prison
Apparently I was trying to convince him Springsteen has had buttsex. I ended the argument with "I bet he came from it too."
High as shit. I just described caramel syrup on crackers to my mom for 15 minutes...
So high I started crying because I was proud of Snoop Dogg for becoming Snoop Lion
don't judge my taste in strippers
This little girl and her dad are walking behind me. "Why is he wearing pajamas?" Mind your own business, kid.
Nice classy night out before we roll our faces off
What part of the grouping of the words "anal beads" confuses you?
Randomize
