I was in the bathroom throwing up...when I walked out he was sitting there watching porn and jacking off. He said, "Sounded like you were gonna be in there for a while."
i feel like my life is a cheap remake of American Pie
Sleepwalking naked until I was 12 made it so much easier to get away with drinking at moms now.
It's shedding
I told you penises don't tan
yea, their son has been arrested on more than one occassion, their daughter is pregnant and their other daughter graduated but she was adopted, so clearly genes are everything.
I swear there's a gravitational pull from your vagina to large groups of men in uniform.
Drinking down Plan B with a 5 hour energy. Winding down welcome week in style.
Heed the warning of the ghost of Oktoberfest present: German beer is soooooooo much better than our watered down children's piss. also lost all my clothes and am wearing lederhosen the rest of the trip.
We are cuddling. She is so cute when she is too high to be a loud bitch.
In that case, I'll try 2 find a date. But my options are AA friends or fuck buddies.
Do u ever find yourself high af, watching American ninja warrior and crying at the athletes stories?
I can't open my mouth wide enough to make full use of this snapchate update
We put you in the box and you started to cry, that's how high you were.
So my furniture is upside-down, two lamps are glued to the ceiling, and there is a kitten sleeping on Kyle's face. Please tell me what happened last night....
there are LEGIT cum stains on my ceilling. ON THE CEILLING!! you tell me how the relationship was.
Randomize
