yep. he's not circumcised. how did it take me six months to realize THAT?
like if someone fucked a dictionary but instead of having a penis, it was just one of those leap frog educational toys
I hope to god you are high
What about the words "You're my personal dildo" made him say "I love you"?
Everytime I see a couple on campus walking and holding hands I just want to yell he's gonna lie!
Also I smoked away my sore throat last night. It's a 420 miracle.
Apparently Bin Ladens last act of terrorism is cock blocking me....
Everyone else in class agrees the weed smell is coming from me
Do to my newly discovered condition I'm having to resort to emergency beat sessions to avoid the temptation to text girls I know are easy slams.
It's like you know you got fucjed up when you wake up and check fir your own pulse
Chicks before dicks must only mean American dicks
nobody was home so I boiled the dildo
If they could bottle a hangover it would taste exactly like lemon lime Gatorade and failed hopes and dreams
So i just remembered that thing i use to do with your butt because of shark week.
I mean I know I'll get over it by like tonight but ew ew eww. I cannot. Dude I don't even know his name also I threw up on his penis
Whenever you have to pee or whatever I'll be over here to harass you
Randomize
