I was high as a kite when I got pulled over by a cop and he asked me for my ID and if I had been smoking weed, I said no and gave him my debit card.
screw that ipod for my birthday.. i just want a weed brownie the size of my face. that's all.
easter eggs filled with ecstasy. it's what jesus would do.
Also pencil in smooth jazz and illegal activities. The usual.
No. He just yelled "youre having one more orgasm!" So he made that happen and then he rolled over and went to sleep.
We blazed in her bathtub. All 5 of us. Not easy bro
Umm... How do I tell my roommate someone shot a speargun through the wall? On a side note, cliff shot a speargun for the first time.
Not only is he in the circus, the man survived a near death experience and has an accent. She might as well have found a unicorn. This shit just doesn't happen in real life. Where did she meet this magical creature?
my grandma just gave me a shoebox fulled to the top with tootsie rolls and condoms with a not that said "enjoy college, find a big cock" i'm not sure how I feel about this
I've started brushing my teeth at 6pm, because honestly alcohol is the only thing I consume after that
See that doesn't work because we've had sex so its awkward for you to call me mom
So my plane's delayed and some guy is talking to "sparkles" he just told her to never again sell drinks from her cleavage. This is why I don't go home
I don't see why I have to pay for it.
your head went through the window, you're pretty much obligated to pay for it.
Yeah, we got drunk and stole road signs.
Pretty sure this radio station is run by a cult. Good thing it's in Spanish, can't brainwash someone who can't understand you.
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