Every now and then I'll talk to a creeper for an extended amount of time. Randy, for instance, funded our entire night of horrible decisions.
Im only slightly posetive that left over guacamole and wine are unacceptable for breakfast at 6.30 am
Everyone threw up but him. I took off my shirt because I puked on it. There were also a lot of drag queens involved.
This taco party has no tacos, just a hot asian guy in booty shorts. We were lied to.
I'm looking for mother nature. And when I find her, I'm looking her right in the eyes and telling her to fuck off.
I think the 8 yr old is hitting on me and they just prayed for the salvation of third world countries
I bet my lungs hate me more than my liver
That's a hard toss up
This is the third time my roommate and I have drunkenly hooked up. I'm starting to think she's not as straight as she says she is.
Meanwhile I'm googling glory holes in Vegas
You wear a dinosaur suit one time and everyone thinks you're a furry. Fucking hell, man.
I found myself looking up beard accounts while masturbating, I guess that's what it's come to.
You were so drunk you told some dude your life story in one short sentence... and kissed his fiancé. You're invited to the wedding.
DUDE!!!!! THERE IS A MIDGET HANDING OUT RICE KRISPIE TREATS!!!!!! WHERE ARE YOU WHEN THE COOL SHIT GOES DOWN???????
honestly performing my own hysterectomy would hurt less than my cramps right now.
I just recommended that the library purchase the first major hentai with tentacle porn. Really, I'm doing everyone a favor.
Randomize
