I am slurping my drink like I am going to the electric chair
You'd think with all the porn he watches he'd be a little better at this...
Tonight's Real World episode reinforced the well-known fact that men of any caliber can hook up with girls named "Crystal"
just graduated on the spot on the quad where I vommed freshman year. full circle
I met him yesterday and now he's wanting to hold hands and kiss in public. i hate this
This is now the friendly bartender typing for him. He wants to be on you. He is going to "destroy your vagina". Good luck and sorry if this woke you up!
She's like an enigma, wrapped in a riddle, tossed in miller light, inside a question. Nobody can explain a Heather.
Dude that soap I drank last night is fucking killing me.
I just used my AAA membership to fix a strippers flat tire in return for a lapdance...does that make me a bad person?
Is it weird that I want to have sex wearing my glasses and lab coat while having an actual scientific discussion?
I haven't been hungover in so long I'm actually looking forward to it
Well, he asked what my sign was, then proceeded to critique me on my beer pong stance... I really need to raise my standards.
She called to say the cops were not fake cops. some one has to go get her in an hour
Wow just discovered I can communicate my favorite sex positions using only emojis god bless this age of technology
You can make out without kissing
Explanation needed
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