I put the beer in my little red riding hood basket.
if i hear one more christmas song, i will fucking shoot myself.
Did you sleep with Connor? And who undressed me? There's a picture of two guys peeing out my bedroom window. What happened?
You were air-planing a joint into my mouth while I was crying naked in the bath tub.
Best Friends For Life.
Do you think making a dress out of an "Open" flag that my friend stole from a bar, and wearing it out sends the wrong message? ....Or exactly the right message?
OMGGG I JUST SAW A REAL OWL JUST CHILLING ON TOP OF A SIGN POST. I WALKED UP TO HIM AND SAID HOO HOOOOO AND HE TURNED HIS HEAD AT ME AND WAS LIKE YEAHHH BRO
So if I tell her fire is hot and it will burn her... she's probably just going to keep throwing her vagina at it huh?
I have to shower first, I forgot I peed on my feet last night...
At this point, just throw that mattresses away. Or bronze it and display it as a testament to your shame. either is good.
The water at the venue tasted HORRIBLE so I just kept drinking booze. It was like the medievals.
Our DD will meet us there. The strippers are sending a limo to pick him up. He promised them New Years Eve massages. Said he would still drive us home.
I just called my boyfriend "Dad"... Awkward
so the casino kicked my ass last night, i'm pretty sure i hit a new level of hungover....just showered with my sunglasses on because the bathroom light is too bright
One of these days I would like to go out drinking and stick to plan of just getting drunk and not be sidetracked with other people's plans of doing drugs along the way. I didn't even want to not feel my teeth tonight but here we go just another Thursday night when you live I live
yeah we're all naked, and I think we just shaved Chad.
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