Too many people are naked here for this to be normal.
Idk. I woke up marinating in beer on my beanbag. Idk what you mightve done.
I didn't want to have to tell you this, violating our brother/sister code not to discuss these things but: for the love of christ stop inviting that 21 year old idiot I slept with for six months to EVERY PARTY WE THROW.
Yes. I feel like complaining about sex all the time with a 21 year old might be punishable by death of the sex gods so I try not to
I bet his dick wears a tuxedo.
It'll be a pair of asscheeks that light up when they're summoned.
She showed up ready for sex all night.. with waters and a meat and cheese tray
You are the best. Or certainly adequate for tempering my unholy desires.
That's the nicest thing you've ever said to me.
I just googled, "what type of cured meat does my face taste like", and one of the top results was, "The Definitive Guide to Bacon." I couldn't make this up if I tried.
Damn it. If you ever throw me again, take video.
I hate political talk. I just wanna get fucked into an alternate universe where Bernie Sanders is president.
How proud should I be that I googled "dildo with wheels" and actually got the result I wanted?
He let me eat chexmix while we fucked... I think I love him.
He pulled out a Plan B pill and handed it to me as I left like it was a party favor. God Bless America.
Im so unlucky if I fell in a barrel of dicks, I'd come our sucking my thumb
Randomize
