thanks for house sitting, cat must be hiding again... everything go ok?
... about that ...
Just got a script for 120 vicodin with 6 refills. I feel like michael jackson.
I could make treat bags
Warning: at some point today you will probably see several pics of me 69-ing a blow up turtle show up on facebook. Just disregard them.
I should also mention that having been a sheltered child, I am conditioned to have serious kinks and find upper bodies of either sex attractive. And legs.
I feel like someone kicked me repeatedly in the ribs. I don't think sex is supposed to do that.
and it seems i've caught your masturbating bug. thanks.
I don't remember much of last night. But I woke up with very apologetic texts from him this morning so apparently I didn't get laid. Which is stupid.
As much as I enjoyed playing drunk half naked twister and talking about my daddy issues last time, I'll have to pass.
As he was going down on me, I looked over his shoulder and said "ohh a Christian mingle commercial is on"
My VP dropped me off at the Strip Club in Houston. Just said "I was never here".
He yelled at me to keep it in my pants and I replied with I will fuck your roommate as much as I please. Oops
There I was, puking into the toilet, and he was rubbing my feet, buck naked. I feel like a drunk Disney princess.
It's has to do with my genitals. Don't ask.
His dog hid my thong. Let me tell you, the last thing you want during a commando mini skirt walk of shame is lots of wind. There’s a church congregation that knows all my business
Nothing kills the mood like opening another guy’s dick pic in bed
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