Someone's got a whale tail
A thong is hangin out?
No, a fatty following them
i saw a guy balancing a black cat on his head last nite
get a pic
i tried he was too far away anotherguy was walking with paper bags on his feet explain that
i want ur life
Can you really blame Steve Phillips? He went to Michigan. Plowing fat girls is a 100-level course there.
she told me that she was curious about how cum tasted. of course i left you.
Changed my sheets. Found a can of rockstar, crushed bag of tostitos, used tissues, and enough of both of our clothes to make a whole outfit.
My favorite part was walking in the bathroom, you fixing yourself in the mirror, calling your reflection a fag, then throwing a haymaker into the paper towel dispenser before going back out to the bar.
I'm missing some hair, but it's cool. Breadsticks are done.
Seriously, don't even. "Hi, have I seen you half naked covered in bright red body paint on the internet?" is NOT acceptable water-cooler chit-chat.
Aw.
He's saved in my phone as 'MURICA. I think it's safe to say I'm not exactly taking him seriously.
I can't help but look at my sex life and acknowledge that this is not normal behavior.
You were mean to me and you broke my heart and hurt my feelings. You dont get to talk to me about Peter Dinklage
"You're the only girl I haven't made out with yet" = worst pick up line ever
Can you have a quarter life crisis another time? I'm trying to masterbate.
His junk had piercings everywhere. The dick and balls. It was a fucking pirate penis.
Did you clean my apartment?
I thought it was a dream, I'm sorry
Please stay more often
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