Well all I remember is going to sleep being big spoon to you and waking up being little spoon to *****
You supply the liquor and I'll "accidently" forget my bathing suit.
Deal!
Why is your vibrator in the fridge?
I'm testing sex in Alaska before I go there.
When we started taking double shots of vodka and chasing it with a lick of fruit roll-ups, I knew there'd be hell to pay in the morning.
getting a black eye the first day of spring break really sets the tone for the rest of the week.
Stumbled into class and into a desk. When I fell my bottle broke in my backpack. I had to leave there was vodka everywhere.
Osama's death just kick started our Cinco de mayo celebration. Margaritas for anyone wearing red white and blue!
Can't promise anything, there's vodka in my thermos
Last thing I remember is beer bonging sangria. Dear God.
The bartender seems to not like the DD's anymore. I'm sad
All I'm saying is that any 24 year old guy who sends me a snapchat from the vantage point of his dick with the caption "hiding behind my weiner" is off my list potentially dateable guys.
Some guy just ordered at Cosmo and 2 screwdrivers in the sky club at 8:30 am. I'm starting to feel a lot better about my alcoholism
I can't feel the bottom half of my face but i feel like our sex would be amazing
You were having sex very loudly, so I felt it necessary to blast the Thong Song, bust out the trusty old airhorn and walk in on you. MY BAD.
I was sleeping and woke up in the bathroom already puking like i slept walk. Perrrrrrfect.
Randomize
