I can't tonight. I'm still nursing a beach sex injury. Don't wanna talk about it.
this morning i woke up with my panties on and i knew where i was. success.
I don't care where my tongue is but i t's going to be in all the pictures.
I took her to see 2012 then broke up with her, the movie was a metaphor.
She called me Jeff during sex, I just kept going like nothing happened. To think, if I was a woman that would be a problem.
I need to stop smoking. I just talked to corn.
I had to make out with him. He bought me a few drinks and he was an Angels fan. As a Yankee fan that was my way of saying good game and sorry we beat the shit out of you
"Stranger danger aquaman" were the last words i remember. help me.
You pissed off the back deck while listening to the national anthem from your phone screaming America Fuck Yea to my neighbors
I need a nap, Harry Potter movies, and dick in this exact order after work.
There aren't enough words in the English language to fully describe how worried I am for your dick. And the rest of you, I suppose.
LIKE ALL I WANT TO CURE MY HANGOVER IS PORKROLL AND LIKE 85% OF THIS COUNTRY DOESN'T KNOW WHAT IT IS
I feel like I smell like bad decisions
My liver is screaming fuck you right now.
Also I found $40 in the women's bathroom at ihop. Karma is finally kicking in!
Randomize
