I think scott just propositioned me for sex
I'll write directions out on a napkin and slip it to him. Then say P.S. The UTI is gone.... that's not creepy at all right?
My hot female boss's cubical is right next to mine with a wall between us. Do you think it is too forward to make a glory hole in the wall?
How is it that lesbians won't hit on me at a gay club, but they'll hit on me every time I go to Walmart?
I'm sorry for peeing on your door. But it was your decision to open it.
I vaguely remember trying to exfoliate my face with your leg hair. Sorry about that.
We were playing hot potato with real potatoes at 3am
Today needs to die. The mail delivery guy watched me throw up in my yard while taking my chihuahua out in Christmas pajamas at noon. Low point in my life.
Winner winner, chicken dinner. I am the sole survivor of the orgy without strep. Or maybe I was the carrier?
Just found weed in my belly button. Happy Saturday!
Tell her this is the Disneyland of penises.It's a magical place everyone should visit once in their life.
Took three klonopin and turned all my jeans into jorts. I miss you
My dad's girlfriend is driving through the snow to bring me my purple haze. If he doesn't wife her up, we have a bigger issue on our hands.
I think we ended 5-7 relationships as well this weekend...so another good stat
Just bought shot glasses from the thrift store. I think the guy buying a winter coat was even judging me.
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