I'm not even planning on drinking that much tonight.. but I'm writing "emergency contact number" and your number on my hand just in case
tuesday night obama will do an address about the oil spill at 8... it'll only be about 15 minutes... but i think thats plenty of time for a drinking game. key words "oil" "bp" and "responsibility"?
Fuck yes. Let's make bingo cards.
and this is why we should make december sharting awareness month.
The secrurity code on my debit card is 420, can not lose this card.
Im drunk with people I love less than you. fix it.
I'm deep cleaning my room right now. Not sure if it actually needs it or if I'm just trying to symbolically cleanse myself of the last 24 hours.
I just want to have normal problems like what kind of puppy to get, or should I pay a hooker to fuck Scott, or even a dilemma about fucking Twizzlers. I don't know.
was it wrong to tell him he's welcome in my pants any time?
Fucking that physical therapist guy was the best decision I ever made.
I don't know man. I fell outside Pizza Hut and an employee had to perform first aid. But I think I got free pizza. So it was worth it.
Well shove his head down there and tell him not to stop til we have a new president!
Did we do drunk science last night? There's tequila in the test tubes...
He just didn't want his drunk dick pulled out of his windbreaker at the family party
Dude, A DAMN CHEESEBURGER HIT ME IN THE FACE!!! WTF was i suppoused to do!?.
Ben Franklin would totally be a furry.
You're smoking weed and checking Tumblr I take it?
Randomize
