so when am I gonna get some from you?
when you dick grows 3 inches
I am waking up at 7am to go to church with him and his family... I better get eaten out tonight.
Just watched porn on a 60 inch plasma screen TV... So that's where the clitoris is
Youre at medical school. Im eating raw cookie dough, pickles, and orange juice. Naked. On a monday afternoon. I clearly make better life choices than you.
Home safe. Psyche shattered. Still rolling. In love with the morrocan rug in the living room.
As one final fuck you to the courthouse i'm paying the rest of this ticket with sacajawea coins.
You were walking around in your swim suit, an open robe, snow boots and a death grip on that handel of captain morgan.
I used the light from the first guy's text notification to be able to snapchat the second guy in the dark. I am too good at juggling guys.
third nipple confirmed
Am I supposed to get so horny by looking at your dick that I start orgasming uncontrollably
Word to the wise, never look up your hot young doctors on Facebook before you're discharged. You will find things and no longer be able to take them seriously.
Maid of honor screwed up the joke so I just got to explain what a strap on is and why a married lady might want one to Grandma and my brother's wedding shower.
Just an fyi, you also tried to wrangle a peacock last night.
I woke up with leftover chocolate syrup on my nipples. WTF happened last night??
just spent the last 20 minutes cleaning out the soap dispenser. fuck. me. adderall.
Randomize
