A joint and a Nerds Rope = breakfast of champions for the unemployed
I know...I feel like disliking her as a person on facebook
We have nothing in common but the sex rocks, would it be awful to develop a drug habit just to have a topic of conversation?
apparently my insurance doesn't cover road head. Bummer.
Worst relationship ever. Keep in mind I've dated two married chicks and a Mormon.
we got kicked out of McDonald's because you kept screaming THAT SHIT CRAY at the woman in front of us because she ordered a fish filet.
...that shit cray.
I was worried he'd break you after the hiatus your lady parts had to take from social interaction.
You left something at the house but since I'm back home now so I can just mail it over. Address?
I didn't realize you could put dignity in a box these days.
How could she say that about my foreskin when she hasn't even seen all the cool stuff I can do with it?
I feel like there should be a 'roommate information section' of the paperwork when there's a chance you'll be given pain killers.
He was like, I wanna take it slow. I took off my bra And I was like, either we have sex now or you get out.
Mom said it is up to us to plan Thanksgiving. Hooters or Scores?
Or???
Did you fill my inhaler with tequila?
Yeah, so?
Question: anytime during the past week did I drunk dial you and give you full permission to grab my boobs? Cus I know I said it I just don't remember who I said it to...
Just made a secret hand shake with my sisters cat. Boredom at its finest.
Randomize
