found a dugout with weed in it in dad's car. decided to top up the weed compartment with salvia. for fun.
It's amazing how much jurassic park has contributed to my life recently
I would like to thank collapsed soviet republics and fathers who didnt show enough attention for tonight's festivities
Every night before bed, when I used to say prayers, now I just think to myself 'freshman sluts. Soon'
is she serious with that outfit? Why doesnt she just paste a for sale sign on her boobs?
I have all these new brothers and sisters I'm just now finding out about
Just hide your weed in your baby brothers shirt. TSA wont check a baby, thats fucked up
So the dentist told me I couldn't suck on anything. She emphasized ANYthing.
i may have reached my "but im high so it's cool" quota for the month.
We decided to cut you off after you insisted on eating peanuts by the dumpster
I'm fucked up. I can't drink anymore. We stole a cat.
I'm to sober to make life ruining decisions and alcohol is to expensive at this bar for me to fear that level of drunk happening
Ladies, if you have recieved this text then you are one of the lucky few friends I have decided to make this proposal to. As you all know, my boyfriend's birthday is in two weeks and I have finally decided on the perfect present. Surprise threesome. Now, there can only be one, this isn't an orgy you know, so I will be rating the ideal candidates on bra size and sluttyness. Experiance will count, references if available. Inbox me your credentials so we can come to a...Satisfying agreement.
You have better ratings than Crest. Only 4/5 dentists recommend it. You have 8/9 recommendation for your blowjob skills.
Straight up just cock blocked my dad. Also this apple sauce is good.
Randomize
