so i was supposed to be to work at 8..but its 9:15 and im currently standing stoned in the middle of holiday...with a bag with three doughnuts, two redbulls, and a slim jim..
god i miss watching you do this...
whatever it's my dick and i'll put it wherever i want
I'd invite him but there's too many people who have fucked me going already
Woke up on the floor holding a sandwich. Shots. Never again.
Its so hard looking at my mom and pretending I'm not dying a slow death of binge drinking
Heed the warning of the ghost of Oktoberfest present: German beer is soooooooo much better than our watered down children's piss. also lost all my clothes and am wearing lederhosen the rest of the trip.
i was drinking at the bar last night with a guy with no bottom teeth, wearing zubas and a polka dotted hat. if that isn't the definition of wisconsin, i dont know what is
Thought it only fitting this Jubilee weekend to snort lines with a 50 note
Your patriotism amazes me, the Queen would be proud!
I'm not judging you. Just know that you could be Queen of The World. Instead you're 5:28 p.m ponging. I hope you're at least winning
I'm almost positive that you shat in a birdhouse
I mean I'm not saying I have my life together but I did just put nerds in a bottle of champagne and then drank from the bottle
We were in a bathroom while 4 dudes compared dick piercings.
Buffalowww
I trusted a fart in Toronto. NEVER TRUST A FART IN TORONTO.
Oh god, I forgot we had sex to Elton John
seriously i don't trust him. he fed me a hot dog out of a crock pot and gave me moonshine dashed jager bombs.
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