Dude, hurry and get over. I need a wingman. She is on her 6th vodka shot and her resident ugly friend is still sober
It smells like Drakkar Noir and desperation out here.
That's why you should quit smoking.
Dude, she DOES look like she'd give good head. No bottom jaw, I checked.
god, you should never be in the FBI. you'd give away america's secrets to any boy who asked.
The plants looked thirsty. Growing plants need mimosas too.
The floor and the wall just switched. I'm falling.
Things I have that belong to you: shorts, headband, bra, purse, chinese food, vodka, and blood on my jeans. Happy homecoming.
Ohhhh sweet! I may be down for that. I'll be a german beer girl probably passed out on a park bench somewhere.
Judge me...This apron fits PERFECTLY when I have no clothes on
Who said I was judging? More like congratulating.
but I'll probably watch some porn later so it's not a complete waste of a Saturday night.
Did you like my voicemail? Sounded like I was being murdered, right?
By a pack of ravenous dildos
i found out she really is a mensa member
so she was the smartest passed out on the floor hair encrusted in vomit girl at the party
Pride is not for the college student young Padawan. Tequila is for the college student.
She's in labor and I'm doing shots. Whose the real winner here?
Hey
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GODDAMNIT WHY AM I MISSING THIS
Randomize
