The child next door sounds like he's having vigorous sex in the backyard and it's making me very, very uncomfortable. I don't want to look.
How do I put "special brownies" into Weight Watchers?
Between the booze, mechanical bulls, and penis's I think my body hates it when I'm single
i just shaved my vag. i figure it gave me about ten more minutes to drink tomorrow.
Marshall is naming all the elements of my face. I love science nerds.
She pretty much spent NYE measuring dicks, trying to decide which one to take home.
I'm out of prison. Wanna start a band?
ill dress up as a sperm donor and you can go as the cup....
Apparently 24 hr fitness frowns upon the ingestion of psychedelics on its premises, don't see that in the sign up contract.
Tent sex on an air mattress requires balance and flexibility. Not for the faint of heart
I'm currently trying to figure out a way to fill the bathtub up with mashed potatoes so when he comes over he'll know what's about to hit him..
we need to tell them stories about when happens when we're sober so they think they know what they're in for when they're actually completely unprepared for whn happens when we get drunk
She calls him the walking dildo to his face. That relationship is already fucked up.
I'm pmsing pretty hard.. .just cried 3 times while eating a Hershey bar dipped in peanut butter
Anything special planned for Valentines Day?
Does testing the strength of my coworker’s marriage count?
Randomize
