she left her pants. im pretty sure she grabbed mine on accident. im like 9 man sizes bigger than her. wtf
im six kinds of drunk right now
My low point of the night was when my roommate spit out her jello shot and i took it...
I hate it when I can only see straight when I close one eye. I feel like that deserts the purpose of seeing with two eyes
So, remember how that one doctor said it was 1 in a million that I'd get pregnant...
Yeeah thank god
Well..welcome to parenting Mr. one in a million.
He just said "wow, thats some rly nice hair! And those teeth..thosee are some cool teeth"
His hands were made for my vagina.
Night out in new white coat = success. Offered free breast exams all night, two took me up on it, woke up with one. I love medical school!!!
It looks like sephora exploded on his dick, so i assumed I was the second girl that gave him head that night.
I swear to god....if you can give yourself a brazilian you can take a fucking bullet
we were having a conversation about big dicks and the chick at the table beside us turned to us said "me and my boyfriend just broke up a few days ago. Could you please NOT talk about big dicks"
i just want to die with dignity and clean teeth, is that too much to ask?
I'm all about clean living these days
You started your day with fried chicken and a bloody
... after you woke up in your own urine
It's officially "let him eat me out in a sundress with no panties" season. Needless to say the first date was a success.
Can you cover for me after lunch? I’ve never seen a guy who cums as much as my new Side Dick so now I need to clean the house before my husband gets home
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