Good face, no body. And apparently her vagina is related to chewbaca.
I'm twenty-five. I'm too old to be watching my friend throw up in Chipolte Parking lot.
Do you think there's anyone left in this world that hasn't masturbated in a computer chair?
the number of months ive had a girlfriend in my life divided by the number of blowjobs ive gotten is extremely depressing...
Do you think unemployment will give me a christmas bonus?
is it still called a breakup if its your friends boyfriend that you have stopped sleeping with?
It finally happened. My conscience stopped working. I've never felt so free
She took a picture of me when she thought I was sleeping. I don't know whether to be amused or scared.
I should have taken pre-gaming this lunch date more seriously.
she looked at me completely serious and said "orgasms are 15% Stronger during a hurricane" and started to take all her clothes off
Just at the gym drinking. We call it treadmillcolada
As a plus, I've lost 5 pounds in two days, so "party all weekend" is officially a valid diet plan.
I'm scrolling through our convo thread and all we talk about is pizza, alcohol & dick with the occasional "I miss you" thrown in.
UHG. i just want to have hot lesbian sex and eat pizza with you.
Not all of us can be into hot dads. Some of us have to have commitment issues and be into musicians.
Randomize
