You guys coming?
We are smoking out the bouncer? But after that sure
Riding home in a carseat. Worst. Night. Ever.
The only thing I have to prove last night happened is a fireman's hat full of puke.
I feel like after all he sees, the dog needs to get baptized.
Threesome in a minivan. New low
I wasn't going to take him home until I heard "hung like a water buffalo" then curiosity got the best of me.
I'm naked and wearing a cowbell.i love med school.
I don't want to get into details but it feels like there was a bear mauling involved. A very good bear mauling.
I wasn't trying to be rude when I hurriedly walked past you, but I can not put in to words exactly how bad I had to shit.
You're always so generous when it comes to your dick.
Day 1 of the Fuck Your Ex weekend has been productive. Already boned Steph and we're both still glad we arnt together anymore.
I just had to call my mom to come pick me up stoned at a Lana's house and beg her to buy me Taco Bell. I'm graduating from college in 14 hours. Fuck
Nothing brings compassion from a group of cafe workers like walking in and asking if they have a 'hangover special'
do you ever look at a card in your wallet and reminisce about all of the drugs youve done with it?
Whatever. I'll take my new fine ass dick sucking nails elsewhere.
Randomize
