a mothers knocking is a guaranteed boner softener
my ass just sighed. even my farts are tired.
I am now Facebook friends with Donkey Lips from Salute Your Shorts
She looked like her face caught fire, and someone put it out with a screwdriver.
do you have any idea how expensive it is to have the munchies at Disneyland?
shes the only person ive ever met that could make "i don't swallow" sound sexy
Jesus christ how hard is BRING SNACKS AND DRUGS to interpret? I trust your judgement on this one.
I was passed out in a dog food bowl tor two hours. Just tapped my dinner beer. I love homecoming.
hungover and i feel like a burrito
like eating one or like you are one?
like i am one.
Just found a condom on my floor from last weekend. 2/2. The scavenger hunt is over.
I told her shower beers are even better when you have someone in there with you and she said she's been looking for a new drinking buddy. It's a goooooo
jesus, I think that canada gold metal game has completely changed all rules of acceptable drinking habits, I was fucked untill noon and I just got invited to go party when I get off work...at 600am...and NO ONE understood why i was hesitant
Just leave a note saying "riding dick see you in the mornig"
Jungle juice breakfast? No? Ok.
This Asian instant coffee I found in ur kitchen is like crack. Who knew I could feel my heart beating in my asshole after one cup of this happiness.
Randomize
