you got in your car and made the sounds of a NASCAR, then called me on your phone and I was your pit crew. then you apparently you won the race, and THAT'S when you tried to backflip off the top of your car.
You might not want to sit on your couch. Actually you may want to throw it away. My bad.
He spent the whole night convincing me I wasn't fat, but after we had sex he said "Oh, I see what you mean"
Please stop using the dehumidifier for your weed.
I've also hijacked your can opener. Sadly not for the same sexual reason as the muddler.
I think I just fucked my first person born during the Clinton administration
Thank you as well. My penis is starting a slow-clap right now.
Also, fighting a very strong urge to nickname your dick Whitey Bulger, at least for today.
She just face-timed her mom and had her watch all of us toast to her grandmas tits..
For u too. Could be years before u have a finger in ur ass
Would you and/or him be willing to dress up like the phantom, sing me music of the night and then bone the shit out of me? this is important.
Remember when we partied so hard that dude died and it cockblocked you hooking up with my sister?
I forgot that happened. That's the second dude that died on a vacation I've been on
The judge mental looks i am getting while looking at porn on my phone sitting in the urgent care waiting room is gonna get way worse when they find out im here to see if im pregnant
Eh, I don't question what my penis likes. It just does what it does.
No one with a hairstyle like that is allowed to insult anyone for anything
Randomize
