well I can't set my house on fire every night
Great. There's a birthday party at work today. Now I can stand around and feel uncomfortable for an hour.
They left shortly after you claimed the dirty rug as your mattress and began alternating between singing "Dayman" and "Nightman"
she did the YMCA with her lgs... i think she forgot she wasnt wearing any underwear
this girl is having heart failure because she lost her feather...a gypsy blessed it in turkey. Not sure im high enough for this
dude literally just took me 4 trips to take out the recycling from last night. we need to have parties like this more often
I just saw someone EAT a flashcard out of frustration. Finals suck.
The arresting officer told me "you probably get this a lot, but you look like anthony kiedis".
That's why I don't chug things. Because when I was a freshman in college tequila came out my nose.
I don't see what kind of idea someone could get from an envelope covered in jesus stickers and a note from a person and their dog. I'd say crazy person alert before flirting.
We were naked in bed for hours and we didn't have sex. Either he's gay or he wants to respect me. Neither of which I approve of.
Me and him were fist fighting in the back of the cab and I offered the driver a 100% tip to call him an asshole. I don't know why.
you said you would race him to taco bell but you slipped in the parking lot and just laid there, crying
I wasn't going to drink tonight, but was reminded this is the anniversary of prohibition being repealed. If I don't, then I am against my profession of bartending and anti-American, right?
I had to explain to the doctor why I'm peeing blood. He still didn't believe a girl would have that much sex... You could feel the judgement forming in the room when I went into the details...
Damn, well a girls gotta get laid too
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