he asked me if i had ever jacked off high and then referred to it as a "man-to-man question"
he called to tell me the scratches were still on his back. this was in the summer.. still the best hookup
Just saw a denim jacket with the phrase christian cowboy...ridin with the lord under a picture of a cowboy in a sunset. I'm def in mississippi.
I just smoked a bowl in the dining room and am now drinking a glass of chocolate milk. i can't believe i'm getting paid for this.
Chick took off her bra in the middle of class cuz it was "too hot." How's going out of state feel now?
You slow danced with your carpet steamer last night.
can we get vodka so I have an excuse for being an emotional wreck
I made out with a guy because he was sitting on my coat...
Fun fact. I am at the police dept. getting served a warrant for unpaid ordinance... and the officer was a one night stand from like 10 years ago.
Because I'm a hot mess throwing up in the litter box
All's fair in love and war. and tinder.
I just fell off a roof. So I'm kinda chillin for a minute.
Next time we smoke please remind me to put my bong back in my build a bear box. My mom says if I leave it out one more time she's keeping it for herself.
Its that time in the evening when I've had a few cocktails and wish you'd make a video about the packers and Jack Daniels.
Say thank you and give him a blowjob.
Randomize
