Some guy on the train just glared at me. So I'm drinking tequilla out of a dixie cup. Go fuck yourself.
words cant express how excited I am to make January 1st our own personal version of The Hangover
Just walk through the Honors dorm on a Saturday night. You'll feel better about yourself.
I'm quitting my job and I'm just going to become a professional drunk girls mistake.
My summer fucks are coming back to haunt me with a vengeance.
Found a beard hair in my crotch.... care to explain?
Just found a wrench in the washing machine. Sooo not doing your laundry anymore.
last night a police horse bit me when i was wasted. even the animal kingdom knows i'm no good
Guess who woke up with a hangover this morning? The same person whose parents found out and woke her up by banging pots and pans with wooden spoons.
No, supporting your unemployed boyfriend IS NOT what credit cards are for.
last thing I remember was someone walking in on me sitting in the bathtub listening and singing along to Britney spears "Till the world ends" on repeat.
IT IS EARTH DAY, RECORD STORE DAY, 4/20 EVE, AND SATURDAY ALL AT THE SAME TIME!
So drunk I thought the door was feeling me up for a seconds
I can now say I know getting hit in the face with a flying tortilla is not fun
Fuck this. I'm adopting 12 cats and naming them after the 12 disciples. Maybe Jesus will have sympathy for me then.
Randomize
