Asian hipster sighting. About to tackle him and ask him to take me to chinatown
# days @ Coachella: 1 people i showed how to break it down: 279
If I die tonight, wear a V neck to my funeral.
Please explain to me what this has to do with my fantasy to fuck larry king?
Just saw ur first draft of ur suicide note.
You spelled "worthless" wrong.
blow job with a beer in the shower, I just created the ultimate day spa for dudes
woke up with food on the counter from chipotle, taco bell, green cactus, and on the border take out. explain?
you were trying to get this Spanish chick to sleep with you. you were showing her how much you "loved her native food."
Every one of her profile pictures looks like an ad for American Apparel. Of course she has syphilis.
Sorry I didn't text you for coffee this morning...bad life decision Saturday sorta rolled into Monday...
Do you remember peeing in the sink while I was throwing up?
No ma'am, I do not. I found a video of us trying to do a trust fall though. Emphasis on the trying.
We're eating jello shots in the library. I love the day after Valentine's
You will bone me until my eyeballs fall out. This is not a request.
I'm so excited you texted me but I'm way to high to process it
I wish you could see all the crumbs in my bra....it looks like Hansel & Gretel got lost in my cleavage.
Thank you for helping a fellow gay friend today. You are sublime and deserve free tickets to the Ellen show
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