jackpot. dress really slutty so he knows you mean business
Don't fret. That vag would have consumed a lesser man.
what age do we have to be before we can stop fucking guys on the first date?
My landlord wasn't pleased about the new fire pit we built him.
We waited til after. Not even drunk sex felt right during a Disney movie.
So... on the count of three, we are going to forget last night ever happened... 1...2...3
I found a tip from a dart in my bra this morning
I realized I'm gonna have to fit cheating on my gf, sleeping with my gf and having dinner with her parents all into one Sunday evening
What shirt can I wear out that says 'I may have a broken arm, but it's not the one I give handjobs with'?
My vagina supports interfraternal relations
I can't handle dick pics with conversational captions
GET ME OUT OF HERE THE DOCTOR KNOWS HE IS JUDGING ME I DEMAND A PRISON BREAK
I just laughed so hard that my back cracked so hard that I thought I was cumming. Magic
Dude. $3 Jack n Cokes AND Cheesesticks... Find me tomorrow plz
Either my boss has an enormous dick or he’s hiding a can of tennis balls in his bike shorts
Maybe I will go to the company picnic
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