I couldnt find her vag and just started laughing uncontrollably. She was not pleased. Neither was i.
The tricky part is not getting sand in any orifices. Or is the plural orifi? Orifi don't, we'll both be unhappy...
I just got fire extinguished by his roommate while we were having sex. That's just taking cock blocking to a whole new level.
I just wanted to yell " i am not a shake weight!!"
My life is a requiem composed in the key of fuck.
i think i can safely say that is the weirdest thing you've ever propositioned me with. so obviously my answer is yes.
Miller High Life will be the death of me. Well, that and shower sex.
If we worried less about pouring champagne down stripper crack, we probably wouldn't skip so many meals.
He could have been a one armed faceless howler monkey. I was so slammered that I didn't care what I was having sex with or if whatever it was... was doing it right.
Well I could just do a roadtrip and hit them all. Slut tour 2012.
Do not deep throat a rocket pop, it WILL go into your lungs, and you may die.
im actually so stoned and hungover i feel like a bag of jello stuffed into a human shape
Like woke up with a dick piercing kind of drunk.
The power of the half flaccid cock, and to think, I thought I was just playing accordion in front of her Vagina!
I was in the rappers prayer circle. Then they're blunt circle
Randomize
