in my opinion joe jonas is kinda pointless. hes just the pretty boy front runner.
i googled "the goonies drinking game." i may be alone, but i'm living the college dream.
I hate about 85% of people that I meet. I'm an awful person. In reality my only redeeming qualities are my face, my amazing scissoring skills and the fact that children love me.
True on all accounts.
I've thrown up twice at work. Just casually, in the mop sink. Then continued to make someone a milkshake. Want some ice cream?
Why the fuck did I wake up in a chair with mouth clamps?!
Want to come over and play therapist and then fuck all the emotion away?
Last time i carry you out of a forest
Okay I take that back some girl just said pussy sweat. Get me outta here
I'm the only one who goes to a bar and leaves with an extra twenty bucks and a pumpkin.
There is someone hissing in the hallway. Not even a typo. Not pissing. Hissing. Like a large cat. Or a komodo dragon.
There's someone howling in the parking lot. Haha.
she basically told me that her vine videos last longer that I do
I was supremely disappointed in the lack of dick and doughnuts in my life last week.
"He didn't answer my snap so I know he's arrested"
a guy just skateboarded past my window in a bunny suit while chased by a dog walker
Randomize
