Canada just beat USA, the sad part they still need us to make money so who really won
Ever had blood in your semen? I am guessing that's a problem.
I just used celery as a chaser. That's the level of my refrigerator.
I just test ran being their maid. I'm getting 50 bucks a month and they're buying the costume.
The best thing about my promotion is that I now have an office with a door. I can take my naps in peace instead of leaning my head against the stall in the bathroom.
I can't believe they pay you six figures. I hate you.
He said he wanted to go to France " just to piss in the nice areas". I want to fuck him.
I mean it was his birthday. How was I supposed to tell him he could not wear a sombrero while we bang.
I woke up with a massive hangover and realized I still had an entire bottle of tequila in my car...so yeah, working on tomorrow's hangover.
At what part of the night did you guys leave?
After my hot tub cannonball.
Started the 4th with a foursome. I don't know if it gets more festive than that. #MERICA
You've been dating this guy for a month now and as your best friend I have to complain that I still don't how big his dick is.
I am the Angelina Jolie to his Billy Bob Thorton. We just don't work.
considering I just took 3 shots of fireball I don't think I'm coming back tonight. also the hulk just walked in crushing beer cans on his forehead
He showed up on school grounds wearing nothing but a suit of armor. Really at this point I'm more impressed than angry.
the person she was housesitting for had a christmas card from charlie sheen on the fridge so we fucked on the couch and just slept in the bed
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